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Sorry

Dark,
A darkness so immense
It’s a vacuum,
A veritable black hole.

That which cannot be seen,
In no way comprehensible;
That which hidden within,
Insofar as it can even be determined.

If only the sun,
Whose rays so brightly shine;
If only the moon
Whose benign face smiles upon mine.

There is no path,
At least none so apparent;
There is no way
At least not in the here and now.

I glance at the clock,
The slow hypnotic twitch of its hands;
Counting down
The final minutes, final seconds.

A kaleidoscope of colour dancing before me,
Their exuberant gaiety a bare-faced lie;
Hugely contrasting the mysterious darkness
Encapsulated in dark green glassy depths.

Ice cold, strong, sweet and bitter,
First one swig, and then another;
Don’t stop now, can’t keep ‘em waiting,
Here’s to courage, yesterday and today.

Red, blue, yellow, white
One, two, three, ten, eighteen
Losing count
Pick up the pace, keep up the chase.

Eyelids keep drooping,
Head so heavy.
The world keeps spinning,
Or is it just me?

I stand, I think.
But my limbs feel leaden
I end up on my knees
Senses confounded, confused.

My mind in overdrive
My body chill as ice
The alarm, its sirens shrieking
In the silence, silent.

Time passes
I know neither where nor how
Only that I exist in a comma,
Like the fetus I once was.

Darkness. Pitch blackness.
Where the light doesn’t shine.

I’m lost and scared
But it no longer matters.

Except
I hear your voice
Screaming my name.

And lost as I am,
I can only think
I am
Sorry.